Spring!

I was going to type up a nice blog..but have been distracted by my dog  Bandit growling and barking at me for the past 10 minutes. It's because I have soup and she thinks she is getting some. I swear this dog is going to eat herself to death. Thanks goodness she's tiny..she can't get to the counter or into things. She is such a fatty.


Update:    I am good, happy it's Spring time.  Eating great and working out all the time. Dancing is the best! I learned the Tango! So much fun. 
I am heading over to see my fertility Doc about options. I want a little baby. It's time for Paul and I to make some decisions. Nervous, but excited. 
I am praying and believing that my cancer, my body will be at peace during this time. It has to let me live a little.  I can't keep doing this surgery crap for the rest of my life.

I have been feeling a little distant from things and people.  I feel very emotional and tired. Taking care of my needs, which is always a good thing. I turn my phones off a ton. I am not being rude, just selfish. It's nice to hear nothing.....quiet time.

Enjoy a moment of quiet time. Don't get mad if I don't answer :)

Blue

I had a great week getting my life back  after another shove backwards from the cancer fairy! I am becoming a expert patient. I may start saying that I am a Surge-aholic. Except I am not really a fan of surgery. I still like the fluffy blue socks they give me. Blue! 


I posted a great picture that Paul took of me in my lovely unflattering Blue paper gown. 
Speaking of Blue!  I decided that if I want to do something ( that won't hurt me or drive Paul insane), I must do it! One life! One chance to do what you want!
I dyed a chunk of my hair electric blue! It looks Fantastic! Now, I am  blonde with a stripe! It's permant (Thanks Janet!).  Don't worry I can always dye it back.


Now what?? 
I am juggling chemotherapy options in my brain. I am not sure what to do. Do I wait for another tumor? More surgery? If anyone has an answer please let me know. 


Still Breathing. Still Smiling. Still wishing I was on my own island with a frozen drink!
Blue Hair....checked off my list! I am not wishing for that anymore. 


Love and Hugs, 
Blue

Happy Valentines Day

Love, Love, Love

I can see some of my Valentine today! My poor right eye is completely swollen! When I woke up I tried to pry it open! The beuty of healing. I'm not so beautiful right now.

I slept through the night and feel good today. I am getting ready for an afternoon nap.
Then my butler Paul will make me lunch. Talk about being pampered today! Surgery worked out great with this holiday. It's like double the love.

I hope everyone enjoys Valentines Day. Remember to tell everyone around you how much you love them. Life is busy...so use today as a reminder day. It's about loving everything around you.....your dogs, cats, friends and for me ADVIl!

Have a Sweet Day,
Michelle

Free Botox...kind of! Surgery for the stars!

Surgery again....Whew!

I had another surgery yesterdy morning. Paul and I got to MSKCC at around 8 am and did the usual check in.
I was pretty calm until I got into the operating room. That's when I completely lost it. Oh the tears! I think I scared everyone. I was really contimplating about getting up and calling it a day. That's when they most likely decided to slip me the happy drug. I don't even remember feeling woozy from the pre-knock out cocktail. I just passed out.

Doc removed a tumor from my temple area. He got it all out and then some. About the size of a quarter. Unfortantly, my nerve was cut. Good news about that..Doc saved Paul thousands on Botox injections! I will now have a perma-brow! The right side of my face in wrinkle free! I am so swollen and I am bruising up pretty fast...but I may have a crowless eye! How amazing! Except I am wondering if I am becoming 1/2 angry...1/2 happy face?? Hmm I have to check that out in the mirror tomorrow.

I stayed one night in the hospital and now I am home recovering in my bedroom filled with Roses from my Valentine. Love and kissed to my wonderful husband. That man sleeps on pull out couches with metal bars digging into his back all night...for me! That's love.

The Future..... spaceships....
I am going to send out reports, scans and my history ( good luck reading that bible) to a few Doctors I have met along the way. To get a few ideas. Maybe a nice round of Chemo will help. Not really sure what anyone is going to say about me and My Sarcoma history.

Something has to change. These surgeries are brutal. I get through them like a champ...but, boy am I exhausted. One more day of percocet and then advil will be my new friend for the week.

Happy Valentines day everyone. Lot's of love and kisses to all.

Love,
Michelle
A 1/2 Botox-ed lady!

14? Is that a lucky numer...better than 13.

We'll I am pushing forward...Doc gave me the rusults after my MRI's on Tuesday. It's a Tumor!

I don't even know why I bother getting these scans done. I know what's going on even before they tell me. I can feel them (the lovely tumors) growing. 3 weeks ago I felt a difference. I had a headache and I was rubbing my temples. I felt a small bump, like a piece of rice on the right side..by my eye. I knew..and even when Paul & everyone else said it was a pimple...I knew. I am getting better at containing my concern. I guess apart of me really hoped it was nothing.

Now what?? I will see Doc B. on Tuesday and schedule surgery. Lucky number 14!

Good news...my neck and other parts where I have done radiation or surgery are clean. This is great news.

Yes, I am disappointed. But, I have also accepted this as part of my Life. My journey through this world of endless MSKCC slippers (Free when you get a tumor removed)!

Hugs,
Michelle