Thursday, June 21, 2012

My liver tumor SHRUNK!

Hated the last few procedures. They took so much energy from me. I really had a ton of pain. Felt like I was going backwards. It worked  and I hope it conntinues to shrink. This is very good news. If you look you can see the tumor in my liver, it's  the darker circle towards the top. It sit's above my stomach (white blob in middle).  Amazing! I will get a scan in two months and we will watch it shrink up! Keep dying little tumor! I am feeling so much better and getting energy back. Working out again to get my muscles stronger. Medicine, hasn't changed. Bummer. Summer is here and I am so happy! Doing everything I can to make it a good one. I miss the beach, sand...sun!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

one very long year

It was a year ago that I started the decision making and jumping into a long sad summer of daily radiation treatments to the right side of my face. The usual began, dry mouth, trismus, and the symptom that has lingered in my system for months....exhaustion.From the treatment and also medication. Headaches started and more back pain. That's when the fun began. I am not talking about catching up on reality shows. I did enjoy flipping through mindless tv and then switching over to CNN when Paul came home! 

I did the IGR treatment on my back in December. Continued to be uncomfortble for months. Subsided and started back up in march-ish. 
Dealing with that and my lovely weight gain. Joy of  stretch pants! I started the nasty chemotherapy. The second one made me think of quiting. Paul had to take me to the hospital after every treatment. The third chemo, I pushed myself. I knew I needed to just keep trying.  Looking back with regret was not an option. I was already so weak and tired. The bed was my only friend. My medication list was getting bigger. Steroids galore! 
After the second treatment, my adorable husband got me a buzzer and we did the head shave. I couldn't look at my hair fall out anymore. It was making me sad. I have video...I will post it. 

And then it happened pains got worse. I slept way too much and felt like the chemo was destroying me. My scan showed stabilization. But, not in the liver. My back tumors exploded (not literally) with pain again. More lydocaine patches. The best is I can never sleep. I wake up with these sticky patches stuck in the strangest places. Once one crept up to my ear, stuck to my shirt! I had no ides what it was. Felt like a slimy slug, Gross! 

That funny Gut feeling floated around me until I asked for more testing. My body didn't feel right. I don't think I blogged about this. It's somewhat new. Tumors have been camped out in my lungs and liver. Add a few blood clots. I had a lovely scare from being on blood thinners that gave me the brain hemorrhage. Back in the hospital! They put in a filter to collect the clots. That was super uncomfortable. No sedation. A metal piece being pushed down into your body. I cringe at the trauma and tears! The tumor in my lung has a little blood clot buddy too. 

A few weeks later I had a liver biopsy done to determine if the large tumor in my liver was cancer or just something trying to scare me.  I begged for a local and to be knocked out. I can't handle these little surgeries. I need an IV pole and some medication love. Not a painful procedure, I am a big baby sometimes. Oh wait, maybe I am like everyone else and can't stand being poked all the time. My body, my rules. 11 years of this crap, I get a say! 
It came back as the same spindle cell sarcoma. I decided (and everyone else. I feel like I don't get a say anymore) to do a Hepatic Embolization. 

Embolization for Liver Cancer

The hepatic artery delivers oxygen-rich blood from the heart to the liver. Tumors need the oxygen and nutrients supplied by blood to grow. Embolization stops blood from flowing to the tumor by injecting substances that plug the hepatic artery. Meanwhile, the healthy liver cells continue to get oxygen and nutrients from the portal vein, which brings blood to the liver from the intestines. In most cases, the procedure only stops the blood flow temporarily, but it can sometimes block the hepatic artery permanently.
Like ablation, embolization is a good option for certain tumors that cannot be removed by surgery, especially if the cancer has not spread to other parts of the body.
  • Hepatic artery embolization - The doctor threads a catheter (thin, flexible tube) into an artery in the inner thigh and up into the hepatic artery. When the catheter reaches the liver, the doctor injects small particles to plug the artery.

I am now spending another month back and forth to Docs. Trying to determine a plan. No more shots! NO more medicine! No more stupid clinical trials that don't help me.
I want this tumor out of my liver. I will take weeks of healing and pain. I have already endured so much. Fartman....what did you do to your liver. HELP ME figure this out. I need opinions. 

As the Chemotherapy was coming to an end (my choice), Paul (did everything) and I moved back into our  beautiful home we renovated. A whole year! I can't stand the look of boxes. I don't even have energy to open them! 

I hope everyone is doing well.....good...fantastic. If you have had and still deal with the crummy hard days. Just push along. One hour may be bright. I think that's all I need for now. Just an hour or two of no exhaustion. That's when my depression, anxiety and sadness disappear. Then the tears start to flow all over again. I am really feeling better as I detox this chemo out. I am also  trying to let more people into my life. I push and ignore. I get self conscious and scared. I learned that we all have something going on. I am over talking about it! 

love lots bloggers. 
I couldn't of gone through any of this without Paul, my love. Take care of that TOE!