Sunday, January 29, 2012

Chemotherapy, Great wigs and A Puffy Smile!

I wish I had better news to share. I can't believe the strength I have to get through these horrible, exhausting doctor visits and scans. I am still completely wiped out. I  wish I could be  in bed all the time. My swelling pains are better! Things are detoxing out of my system. toxic chemo enters. I shake my head in shock. It's kind of funny now! Let's just keep kicking Michelle down. 

My new scans showed growth. They found another lesion/tumor in my liver and a new one in my lung. I  also have a blood clot in that lung and have been taking daily shots in my belly of Lovenox.  I am a pin cushion.The spinal tumors are still acting funny. The larger one in my lower spine has shrunk, great. Then I have the two higher ones. One of them got slightly larger. It's still early to tell how the IGR effected the tumors. Sometimes tumors swell from radiation before they shrink down. We will scan again in February and wait for better results. Hoping some of the pain will soon subside. That would be nice. 

I was happily introduced to my new fantastic Oncologist, Dr. Shwartz. Chief of Melanoma and Sarcoma. Here's a link. 

We were so impressed with him. Not only does he have a wonderful demeanor, but he came in the room with a plan.  He did his research on me, a thorough background check. Like a stalker and I loved it!  The plan is not to keep tumors at bay and watch them stay stable.We are trying to cure me. To kick this cancer out of my body instead of the watch and wait game. He went back and read up on the tumors removed. Basically, every pathology came back with the same kind results that gave him the confidence on the type of Chemotherapy to administer. So,  I am starting chemo :(  I am not upset about it the way I thought I would be. I have to do something and I feel trying this is a positive thing. Whatever the outcome...I need to try. My body will heal. It will be difficult. I will be strong and get through it....I will! 

Thursday, I will start my first round of Chemotherapy in the city. Then I will wait three weeks and do another one. We will then scan and see if there is any shrinking or  a change. If so, I will continue on and kill it all! 
It will hopefully be a great day for me and all of us.....It's Ground Hogs Day! No Snow Please! We are already closer to spring. I know it's been a wonderful Ny winter, warm. But, please let's get going. I don't like the snow!  I spent this morning on the beach with my dogs running in and out of the water. It was such a great way to start the day.  The morning sunshine was lovely on my face. I was smiling the biggest from ear to ear....Puffy face ear! 

Groundhog Day February 2, 2012

Groundhog Day 2012 will be here soon! Phil will leave his burrow at 7:20 February 2nd at Gobblers Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania he will observe the weather conditions and look for his shadow he will then make his prediction for the remainder of winter. 

Wish me good strength and no throwing up!  Next stop....The wig store! I am going to rock a great wig!

I am doing just fine right now. Please....don't be strangers. I promise to blog. I would love vistiors when I am feeling crappy. Movies and ice cream.....come on over. I'll leave the hospital masks at the front door! NO SICK PEOPLE!  

                                                          Cycle for Survival!    
                                    No mattter what..... I will be cycling Saturday! 

Come support me!     Equinox  on Long Island         516-403-4444
                                      90 Northern Boulevard, Roslyn, New York 11548 

 Wishing Peace & Love,

Michelle-Wigpuffness or wig-a-licious! Wait and see the new look I will Rock! 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Puff Girl Flys Home

Home Sweet Puffiness

Sunday morning I woke with a bit of flying anxiety. I was sort of calm knowing that I had so many steroids in me that my brain was relaxed for the plane home. We landed without any problems or headaches. I was happy to be home,  but already missing the beautiful sunshine.

Monday morning bright and early I packed an overnight bag (just in case) and headed into Mskcc for Brain Mri and 4 hour pain management appointment. The horrible joint pain was throbbing throughout my body. Doctors are trying to wein me off steroids and pain medication. I wasn't have been able to bend, kneel or move normally without wincing in pain. The swelling is absolutely ridiculous and uncomfortable. I have been in bed sleeping since I got home.

The goal is to taper the steroids without disturbing the necrosis in the brain, that is swollen! I can't wait to hear this next plan. I can't come off them or taper without an incident. I have had three!

My Mri on Monday showed more swelling. Now what? Surgery?
Tomorrow is another fun filled day of CT scans and meeting a new Oncologist about my liver and the right plan of Chemotherapy or some ting else less toxic. U-toxic would be great.

Today was a good day...until 6 when I feel asleep on the couch sideways and delirious!
I had a breakfast of champs with my KF....I had bagel envy! My ankles were alive and bony! I was super happy to see some swelling n my face calm down (only lasted until about 4pm)...but I found my cheek bone!

Face Swell Puff Story!

Now for the laughter of it all! Ladies can understand this is quite funny. I am self conscious about the chubby face steroid temp look. It bothers me to look in the mirror and I  feel a bit of defeated from my body. Get it together more puffy from this medicine crap! Only time with De-puff.
I went into a local store and saw the sales girl that I have known for sometime. She asked me how I was feeling....   I said great with smile. Walking closer to me her words were this.....    OH! YOU'RE ON STEROIDS. YOUR FACE IS LIKE MINE WHEN I TAKE THEM!

How do you react to that one? Me? I looked at her and rolled my eyes. Made a point that I wasn't happy with that comment and walked away. Are you kidding me! Talk about making me feel better! My poor friend was speechless! Thank goodness for women like that. She made us laugh. 

This story is better than my  crying sleepy breakdown at Whole Foods the day before. It took me fifteen minutes to put five grocery bags in the car. My fat little fingers, back pains...etc couldn't understand the process of food shopping.  Oh, and the thank you to the impatient lady in the white Camry. Waiting for the perfect spot is great and will not  make me move faster. I put the cart back lady! She kept pulling her car closer to me, like I didn't see her. Strange birds out there!

I have another great story to share. But, right now my psychic mind is telling me to go back to sleep. The other psychic wants to go on television! I promise to share this one tomorrow!


Reminder... Cycle For Survival    We raised..........    $32,353.00  !!!!!!!!!!!      Franks Cyclers! Go to  Franks Team or Frank Marcovitz to check it out!

I have raised a beautiful amount of money that is going towards Rare Head and Neck Cancers  and Sarcoma at MSKCC. Our cycle team would love any support, not just dollar bills. Love and care is so important. If you would like to join us we will be cycling at:

Saturday, February 4th at      Equinox, Roslyn  
Long Island, New York from 1-5 pm

For many of you that need an update about Frank. He is doing and looking fantastic! Carrie said he should be home Tuesday or Wednesday this week! I think you are home Frank! If anyone needs to send a gift or dinners, please email me. I want my friend to be super happy and loved by all. Come to Equinox to see my TEAM Captain!


Thank you to all my SPOHNC Friends.  I appreciate all the emails. Thank you Mary Ann for this nice quote. I am going to share.

Continue to be the strong, brave woman that you are and know that we will continue to keep you and Paul in our thoughts and prayers. To quote one of our famous poets Walt Whitman..."Keep your face toward the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you!"

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Wish balloons

The sun has been softly warming my face all morning. It doesn't get sweeter than this. Watching the blueness of the water from a balcony in Mexico. I'm at peace.

I've been having horrible joint pain, running through my body. It started last week with my ankle, knees. And now my back and arms are throbbing. I can't sit still, I gave to be moving all the time. I wake up in pain, achey pain. The kind that throbs and won't go away...head to toe. It makes me shake and sob, like I have a fever. I'm walking like a little old lady. Moving around helps a little, just total soreness.
I know it's the medication, poison running through my blood, joints. I need to cleanse and detox this junk out.

Fire Wish Balloon

Paul and I had a fantastic evening to end our lovely trip. Do you know what a Fire Wish Balloon is?
You write down a wish and tie it to this big light weight tissue paper. Its lit and fills with air. Pushed our wish balloon out to sea last night. It was magical and lit up the sky. Flew like an angel across us and around. We watched it float into the night, a huge bright circle then slowly burn out far over the sea to make our wish come true.

Peace and happy wishes to all

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Hola Brain Swelling!

Another brain tale....but a sunnier one!

I suffered through the summer months without a glimmer of sunshine! This overdue vacation was suppose to be a completely relaxing! I begged Paul for this trip. Begged!
Weeks...months of radiation...We deserved this trip. Not a single person can stand in our shoes. It's absolutely ridiculous the pain and torture, emotionally and physically I have dealt with. Paul too! Get me out of New York!

I guess my brain didn't agree!

Paul and I were on the plane Sunday last week getting very close to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico! I got up from my seat and felt the oh so un-normal head rush. Kneeling in the row, I knew something was wrong. When we landed I felt the headache start immediately and it lingered too long into Monday evening. It wasn't a shock to wake up Tuesday at 3am with horrible sharp head pains. I was calm. I threw up the whole time and knew my brain was swelling. Paul called the concierge and we were delivered by Mexican doctors to the ameri-med. The doctor picked us up!
Paul was fantastic, telling them exactly what I needed. Start an IV with steroids, and something to help calm my stomach.
The hospital was so clean and because I was the only patient, very helpful. Amazing care from the staff.

I had my first CAT scan early in the morning. Since they didn't know my history, they told Paul I had a tumor that was bleeding! He was so scared, and had to explain my brain history! It was comical! He told the neurologist here to give me another scan with contrast. I had no tumor!!!! Silly doctors. It's the necrosis from the brain! I just needed a large dose of steroids to calm it. We stayed for ten hours, basically to calm them down. Sent my scans to MSKCC and was told by my doctors the best way to handle it. Then they gave me a pancake and apple juice!
I was told not to fly home right way. Ok! That's a hard one!

I am nervous to fly. Taking the larger dose of steroids and I will hopefully have a good flight home. But, why do I want to leave sunny Mexico!? I am finally having a relaxing time. I'm feeling less tired from the drugs and getting some sun. It's heaven for me right now, it's been a long few months. New York is too cold for a girl like me. Too cold. Waking with a warm breeze is the perfect healing moments I need.

Last night we went on a beautiful sunset cruise and saw lovely whales jumping around the sea. Peaceful and normal. Something our lives are not!

Back to the beach. My little toes need some love in the sand.

Wish me brain luck :)

Love to frank....send him good thoughts! He's doing great! A strong man! I'll post an update for all from him! Xoxo