Friday, August 28, 2009

Tuesday, Paul and I drove into the city to Mskcc to get my stitches out & more importantly to get my Pathology results. Before we even entered the building we received a phone call from Paul's Dad. Nana, Paul's grandmother died in her sleep. She fell a month or so back and spent some time in the hospital. She stated her wishes and asked to be home. Her witty sense of humor brought us peace over the last few weeks. Knowing she was happy and comfortable is all that anyone could ask for.
I am so fond of Paul's family, especially his grandparents. The relationships I had with my four grandparents was the best (in my opinion) anyone could ask for. Receiving so much love from Nana was a great gift. I learned a lot about her family. I also learned about love. Nana & Poppi were married 70 years. A beautiful love between two people. They made a wonderful family and I am honored to be apart of it.

At the hospital we waited to see the Dr on call and got the news. My parotid gland that was removed had a large cancer tumor (I knew that), but....the lymph nodes in my neck were clean! It didn't spread any further.

It was a funny day. We got sad news about Nana and great news about me. I felt completely wiped out when we got home. We both fell asleep and enjoyed an afternoon nap. We woke up hungry and decided to go on a, "Celebration Date" to a local restaurant, Johnathans. I was craving Polenta! I put on white pants and a gray top. Grabbed my purse and felt a funny feeling. I looked at Paul and laughed. A memory came rushing into my brain. Two years ago I felt a bump on my forehead, another one by my eye. We were at Johnathans having a drink, waiting to sit for dinner. Paul asked me what was by my eye and without even thinking, I knew the little tumor bastards were back. 4 1/2 years went by ! At that moment I started to prepare for Hell (that's basically what the past 2 years have felt like) . I was wearing the same gray top! As I told Paul this I realized that maybe it was fate. I have come full circle. I am starting in the place where in an instant I knew the tumors were back...and now they are gone.

I have 3 scans this week. Honestly, I am not even concerened. It's has to be. I am ready to say that I am cancer free...I am really ready!

All my love to Nana in Heaven. It's comforting to know that I have a strong angel looking out for me.

Hugs & love


Erin said...

Hurray! That is super news.
And about the weird day...I understand the mix of emotions, that is, I don't understand it, but I've experienced something similar: Maura died and two months later, Lydia got married. I had not known it was possible to feel opposite feelings together

Kathy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss but so happy for you. I hope they are really truly gone and that you can live your life without looking over your shoulder for the Tumor B&*)&*()'s.

Elsa D. said...

you will see, it is the end of the cycle.
And Nana is looking after you.

I have not been back to NY since the 23rd
I am going again Friday. I'll be there until the 7th and then I return on the 15th

hope to see you soon

Unknown said...

Hi Michelle,

It was great meeting you at MSKCC the other day. I'm so glad to read you are doing well. I'm looking forward to reading more of your blogs and maybe starting some of my own. I would love to be a part of the sarcoma group that you mentioned. Here's my e-mail address: Hope to hear from you soon.