Happiness is a journey

Happiness is a journey

not a destination      -souza

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served a debt to be paid, At last it dawned on me that these obstacles  were my life. This perspective had helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits  for  no one.

Aloha from Stiich

Announcement

Michelle ( that's me) will be having her name changed....starting.......NOW. 

Please call me Stitches.

BLoggers,

I'm laughing at my last blog! Pain pills and blogging should be illegal! I went back an fixed all the ridiculous typos. Now that I am feeling better (and can spell) I thought I would check in and fill you in on how I really feel. 

I'm glad I got the hernia surgery done at the same time. I thought recovering from that would take longer than my head. But after looking in the mirror I may be wrong. Doc did a great job getting the tumors out, especially the large one ( a grape Paul!) in my parotid gland. One concern was the weakening and bruising of the nerve that would leave me with a droopy face for weeks to months. I woke up perfect. The nerve had no damage. Doc was very surprised and happy. I am too, less drool I have to clean up. 

My incision is from the top of my head (ugh they shaved my head a little, so not cool), and follows down the left side along the front of my ear. Then behind the ear and under the neck. He removed some lymph nodes there too. He said they looked clean, except for one lymph node seemed spongy. Pathology will tell us all. 

My ear looks like I boxed Tyson, but  I didn't win. I am so swollen and bruised.  My stomach is in bad shape too. I keep a tight binder wrapped around it all day. I feel like an organ is just going to decide it needs a vacation and walk right out. I am holding it all in, they'll need  a passport in order to cross this belly button. 

I don't have much pain. Just the occasional throbbing of my boxing ear and when I try to pick a random object (tissue, sock, lip gloss) off the floor  with my toe ( I can't bend over). This stupid way of thinking actually hurts me more.

A. I never get what I am trying to get anyway 

B. I end up in pain from straining my belly. 

A Positive Happy list

1. Picked weeds from my garden 

2. Played Scrabble with Robbles (my bro Robert, aka Robbles) on my sunny deck and won! But,     He did nickname me stitches.

3. Ordered an adorable bikini for my new flat belly. 

4. Took a really long afternoon nap

5. Pooped! Drugs make me constipated! I'm a happy girl!

6. Paul ( my nanny)  gave me the best shower & made me sparkly clean

Thanks for the emails, cards, palm trees, coloring books & support. 

With more love than ever before,

Stitches

Morphine update

I'm not going to sugar coat this surgery. Friday was just awful. I woke up thinking that I made a big mistake and just wanted to take it all back. I was holding my stomach in so much pain. My head was throbbing.  I hate how you feel when you are waking up during a lovely morphine trip. It's the worst feeling.  I knew I needed to get off of the morphine! 

Paul took me home early this afternoon. I still have 2 drains in with staples and a pretty glued together stomach. I feel horrible and just want the next few days to pass quickly.

Doc  was very happy  with the few tumors he removed. We sent them off to the Bahamas and California for some testing & to make a vaccine. 

Now, I just need to heal up  and get back on my feet. 

Thanks for the love and Prayers

Hugs, Michelle

Surgery # ?

 Surgery # ? ( I have to figure that out) 

Friday, June 12th 2009

That is my surgery date. I will stay in for a day or two. I know you think I am crazy, but I actually enjoy the hospital. It will give me a day to rest and come out of my comatose sleepy state before I venture home. 

I asked Doc  to please take out another tumor while he was at it. He was hesitant to say yes, but after a while said it would be o.k. He will have to make a bigger incision. I just think the more I can pop out the better. Isn't it great that I think it's just so easy to pop them out. Wish it was that simple.  The tumor is already getting bigger. I wonder what happened. I still can't figure out why all of the sudden they started growing again. Was the 12 weeks of Brivanib working? What was it? I get frustrated trying to think about what changed. Where is the miracle cure?

My next 2 weeks will be filled with juicing, cleansing and eating really well. I heal so well and want to be in great shape going into this surgery. I know that my stomach will be the worst. 

Please say loving healing prayers for my friend Adina. She is the sweetest and has been on an incredible journey. She just ended the Brivanib too and is starting a new drug. Love you Adina.

Thanks friendly bloggers.

Hugs & cleansing,

Michelle

Tomorrow ,I will find out how crappy my summer is going to be. I start out with Dr Sarcoma in the morning. Dr. Tumor remover in the afternoon and the blood sucking vampire nurses after. I love pre-op. They go over all the questions. I still don't know if they are blind or just like me saying NO five hundred times in a row. 

I learned my lesson and now  start out like this.

NO, NO and NO! The answer to all the question is NO. I don't have heart disease, NO hearing aids and NO dentures.  

I think I will be counting backwards on June 11th. No sure yet. I put in a request. But, really want to get his over with.  I was told the recovery may be about a month. Oh right what am I doing....I am getting a tumor removed from my left parotid gland and then my hernia fixed on my stomach. Flat, Flat & very flat please!  Dr. Adorable will be putting me back together. I laughed at him the other day in his office when he sat and told me that no ones stomach is totally flat. Yeah right Doc...Mine was before you cut into me. Totally flat...totally FLAT!

Hugs

Michelle