I was waking up at 5am for my surgery. I showered. Ate nothing. I was like a zombie.
I remember what I wore, the shampoo I used and the long drive into the hospital. I remember the nun that came into pray with me. And the smell of the new slippers in the plastic bag. I remember the corner I was in, with Paul, just waiting.
I'm awake in tears remembering the morning. I sat with my dogs as I packed the rest of my hospital clothes, pj's. I remember looking around my house and feeling so sad. I didn't want to go. It was all too familiar. The check in, the nurse, the waiting.
While Paul showered, I wrote him a letter. I enclosed a picture and I handed it to him before they took me into the Operating room.
It really feels like yesterday...minus the morphine.
I can't believe it's been a year.