Thursday, April 30, 2009

California Dreams

I never thought I would have so many funny stories from an 8 day trip! Not an acid mushroom kind of actual vacation. 
I left last wednesday and flapped my wings to Portland, Oregon to see my sister-in-laws and beautiful niece Olive. I received an education about garden snakes that I agree now everyone should have as a pet. Embedded in my brain are a few kiddie songs about ducks & friendship, found a fabulous doll & hiked the forests to give back 2 very special frogs. Olive, Nance and I drove to watch my first Rodeo.  I am not a big fan about the way they handle the cows, but am impressed on how tight those cowboys wear there jeans. I sat on the bleachers & tried to come up with a way I could wear 3 inch heels, ride a horse in a  cowgirl hat and not step in horse poop.  

After a great couple of days I headed over to San Francisco. I am now thankful for those fantastic songs, because they got me through the hour and a half plane ride with a man who slurped tomato juice,  scratched his crotch, and gave me a graphic description of how his wife  delivered his son! Yes, he explained the whole birthing process to me, stretched out vagina & placenta goo. Yep...gotta love it.
He carefully reached into my dance space (thank you Baby!)  for my Kindle ( little electronic book).  I jerked into the isle  hitting stewardesses trying to cover it from his germie hands.  I had to laugh when the guy behind me giggled for the entire flight while my  piggy neighbor spit peanuts all over me! 

After the Hell ride I was chauffeured by my beautiful friend Cindi.  I met Cindi in Boston during my stay last year. We are Proton Radiation survivors! We are two peas in a pod. We have  both endured similar surgery's ( pretty forehead bumps)  and treatments. Only a few understand the journey & I am so thankful to have her in my life.  It's been a year and we celebrated with walks of the beach, yoga ( I'd move just to have classes with the gorgeous instructor...california surfer-yoga dudes!) & champagne.
The highlight was definitely the shopping trips. A cute little shop in Tiberon, that required us to make an appointment for a 1 on 1 shopping experience. Having one dressing room, it  left us running around  naked in the store hoping a passerby didn't see us through the  store window. The lovely owner  of this store was the proud beauty queen of large cheek implants! We nick-named her squirrely or a.k.a.  squirrel cheeks! This is after Cindi told her that she looked familiar and it MUST be  because of her cheeks! I almost died and walked backwards leaving my friend to defend herself with hangers and Jimmy Choo's if she needed to.

My Peaceful trip had lead me to believe that I am suppose to be living in California. 
My goal is to convince Paul to move , join the Mill Valley yoga studio, surf  & shop with squirrel face forever! 

With all my California dreaming love,

Sunday, April 5, 2009

The sweetest Dream

Dear Insomniac's,

I usually wake up during the witches hour,  between 3-4 am every night. It could be that my house sounds like it was just hit by a tornado. The wind is so strong the alarm (back off burger-lers....Ha!) on the windows keeps beeping with alerts. Which is ironic since I  was talking with two friends  about alarms this evening.
What did wake me up was my dream. I have always had detailed, colorful, real dreams and remember 90% of them. This one got me thinking. My fears are coming out & I am finally getting answers. This fear is worse to me than dying, because death I am not afraid of. But living without leaving behind something...scares me.   I want to be remembered. 
For the past few months I have been back & forth with Paul about the idea of a surrogate mother or adopting a baby. I have heard from Doctors and was told (& felt) getting pregnant is just not in my cards.  I have been through all the emotions. Let's just wait and see what happens...maybe down the road you will have a baby of your own (words from all). 

Now for the dream part..... I was standing in a kitchen stirring a pot of Rice-A-Roni ( I never make this! ). I had a flowered ruffled shirt on . Paul was standing behind me, holding me.  Bells were chiming in the background &  a man walked in and asked  us, " Is the clock ok?". I looked down at my pregnant belly, smiled and said, "yes". 

The clock? The only thing that I think of is belly took time. Does that make any sense. You can add your  own input if you like. I would love to hear what everyone thinks.  I woke with that feeling of urgency  being lifted from me. I think my dream has helped me rid myself free of that fear. Maybe one day I will enjoy the bliss of pregnancy.

I know my pregnant friends are going to call me and remind me about the not-so fun things! 

Sweet Dreams

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Daryl Katz & My New Eyebrows

I was just putting on my makeup and admiring my beautiful perfect eyebrows. Everyone has been complimenting me, standing way too close to check them out!  I want to share my experience with everyone and give hope to all that has invisible or no eyebrows! 

I never thought at 30,  I would be so self conscious! Especially of the little things I have always taken for granted, 2 little things.  I remember Dr. Chan  from MGH  sliding  across the floor on her chair to give me all the pro's and con's of Proton Radiation. Your cancer will be zapped, but you will most likely go blind in your right eye and loose some hair on your forehead and eyebrow.  It will not grow back.  I looked right at her and said, WAIT A MINUTE, The blind thing I can deal with, the no eyebrow thing we need to talk about! 
Weeks went by , the drain clogged,  because the chemotherapy was thinning my hair. And then the day came that my eyebrow was gone.  Not two...ONE! I was devastated! I spent a whole year using pencils, stencils, glue on fake hair brows & trying miracle lotions that would make it grow. What a crock! Don't waste your money, nothing worked.
 I finally started to ask around and 2 friends recommended Daryl Katz.  She was wonderful at permanent makeup. I got her number and got a quick appointment to see her. After a year of laughs and tears of not having a brow, I am a proud owner of not one, but 2 beautifully tattooed sexy eyebrows.

Daryl specializes in many other beauty needs. She also recommended a great skin care product that has already taken away the signs of radiation & evened out my skin tone. I am finally feeling back to my old self again. 
I also want to share with you how lovely Daryl  & her husband Roger were to me through this process. There kindness made it so much easier.  Here is her contact information,  I highly recommend her. 

Daryl & Roger Katz
239 Jericho Turnpike
Syosset, New York 11791

(516) 496-9797

Peace & love,