Today was my 12th week on the clinical trial for Brivanib. I met with Dr. Maki & he gave me good news that my tumors are stable, there is no change from my last MRI.
The whole ride home I kept glancing at the brown paper lunch bag with my pills in it. I needed to know what was inside. Paul convinced me to wait. I couldn't help opening it anyway. Poked my finger through the foil top (didn't have that on my other pill bottles!), and carefully checked out the shape of the pill. Looked a tad smaller than my other pills. After a 10 minute conversation about safety foil on the tops of pill bottles....I did the only thing I could do. I called Elsa. She's my Brivanib buddy & just finished her 12th week.
I took my pills at 10 pm and have been walking around in circles! I am in bed now & can't figure out if it was the Brivanib or Placebo! As soon as I took them I was on the floor nauseous, holding back tears. The anxiety has been building up all day. The fact that it's been over an hour since I took them (11:15), I think I am going to say that I got the Placebo ( bastards!)
I will see again tomorrow evening. Maybe I am just too worked up and thinking about it too much (Elsa your right!). I should be a lot calmer...especially since I will be on the Beach in COSTA RICA!!!! I will post another blog to let you know if anything changes.
The saga continues............