Thursday, October 6, 2011



I had a  CLEAN SCAN !!!!!   

I was trying think about how to start this email. Getting the drum roll going. Maybe blow up some balloons (kristen knows I love them).  But, guys just want to hear the good news.

Last week my Radiologist informed me that after 6 long weeks of treatment on the nerve in my face looks great and so far clear of tumor. I go back in a few weeks to double check. 

Tuesday I had my Neck MRI in Commack at 8am.  Then Paul and I drove our  little butts into the city to see Dr B. He's my Head and Neck Surgeon (love him). Paul and I laughed because we was dressed liked a priest! OR could of been a Ninja. 
He was able to only look at the films because,  radiology didn't finish the report.  His words to me, "I am really surprised to see no findings of tumor anywhere on these films." I know we were all shocked. Those pesty lymph nodes in my neck went away. 

I haven't had a clean scan since 2007

You can now start calling me NED. NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE! 

If all works as planned. I am trying to get on a clinical trial next week for Sarcoma. You need to be free of disease. This could be amazing. 

Why do I still have such a hard time believing that I could  ever be cured? I feel like I'm not that happy. Because I've heard this before. And, two months later I was prepping for Brain surgery. 

You can get wonderful Cancer free happy news and still feel like the loneliest girl in the world crawling up the mountain alone. I just feel like I'm allowed to take a quick brake on the hillside before the thunderstorm. I want this to last and I want my life back. And I know it won't. And this makes me sad. This is why I feel Lonely. I know many feel this way and I am not alone. 

It's just always there in my head, no matter where I go or what I do. Stupid Cancer and the fears. 

I started Ballroom Dancing again and even did a little show case kind of act at a restaurant. We got a round of applause. No toes were stepped on!  I had a blast. 

Goodnight sleeping chickens

I'm actually getting tired! 
Peace, love and remind yourself of what's important. 


Anonymous said...

I love you! I'm so glad you have a break. Let's pray it's a lifetime break from the stupid C word. You have tons and tons of people praying & thinking of you.
Love you tons,

The Astonishing FartMan said...

Hey, NED! Good to hear from you, NED. Great post, NED. NED. NED. NED. NED! NED! NED! NED is a very nice name!

Sjn said...

you're important!
The three best letters ever, NED! So glad for you my Sarcoma sister. I know how you feel though, un-trusting of the results and their staying that way. It's the nature of Sarcoma, it's persistent so we must be too. Hope the clinical trial works out and the NED is everlasting!
Don't be lonely, you are surrounded by people that love you. Heck, I don't even know you and I love you! ;-)
Go celebrate the good news! xo

Anonymous said...

We love NED!!I have happy tears right now :) Love ans Hugs...Gail
PS..Awesome pic!!

Erin said...

So happy for you and NED!!! That is the best news ever.
The word verification I have to copy to post this says "iomets". I could've sworn, when I first glanced at it, that it said "no mets"
Enjoy NED, and like Jess says,my prayer is for NED to be for a lifetime. Ohmygosh, that could be your first child's name!