Monday, December 12, 2011
Tumors are gone! Blown Up!
I woke up in the morning to two beautiful pink roses next to my bed. My husband picked them for me, December roses in N.Y. I don't know how I did. I couldn't of gotten through the past month without the patience and love from my amazing husband. I have been unbearable at times. Pain running though my whole body. He covers me in pain patches at night and tucks me in. He has to listen to me cry and wimper at all hours, waking him up. I am still doing the same routine of it, yet I feel calmer knowing it's coming to an end. Spinal tumors are gone...poof!
Paul and I had a Christmas , Holiday Party Saturday evening. I was so happy to get dressed pretty. I wasn't going to let a silly treatment hold me back! It's nice to be able to enjoy life. I had two pain patches on under that dress!
I had a very emotional , exhausting week with the radiation treatments. I was so scared that it was going to be painful. They did tell me that I wouldn't feel anything. From my radiation hell background, I knew this was true. I did feel nerve twitching and that was annoying when you can't move.
Where do I begin.... Wednesday I got myself to a very calm drug overload. One of the doctors spoke with me on Tuesday to go over what I would be doing. It was over an hour on the table. Twenty five minutes of the treatment to the lower tumor on my T9 vertebrae. I was so exhausted, I feel asleep. Twitching nerve feelings happened towards the end and woke me. I held back tears, I hate when they fall down the side of my face. I want to wipe them so bad and I can't move. My hair gets all wet and once....right into my ear. Tears in my ears, so very annoying.
Paul and I got dinner after at our new place in Flushing, Korean Bbq. I really hate trekking into the city just for doctor appointments. Grab a tea.... a stop at my favorite store, Anthropologie. Paul made it a nicer day. Wiped my tears and was so supportive.
Yes, I cried most of the day. I still couldn't believe that I walked into a room, fell asleep and WOL-LA, Tumor was exploded! Amazing. Overwhelming.
Friday was the same kind of day. Treatment on the table was the same, 25 min. This time I came home and slept for hours.
I was told that I would still feel uncomfortable for sometime. It takes time for the pain to go away. Nerves are involved. The tumors are dead, dying. I think of them like mini chocolate lava cakes. The melty ones in the middle you get at a restaurant. When you put your fork in it starts to fall apart. I was thinking the tumors getting zapped are dying from the inside out. Takes a little time for it to disappear and my body is absorbing it. Tumor, not chocolate. It actually grosses me out. I am overdosing on Charcoal supplements. Yuck tumor in my body. Where is it going?
I have been having more pain in my side and back. Different pains. The radiation field, 6 beams went through my body to get to the middle of each tumor. Doing this will hit other areas. My lungs were touched and my throat, tracheae. This will cause a sore throat, problems swallowing, cough, feelings of a cold. I feel stinky when I wake up in the morning. Froggy and Groggy ( for you Paul) . The last few days I have been wiped out. Today I came home after being out only for a bit. I needed to relax and do nothing. My body was yelling at me. It's always yelling, I just don't listen.
That was gross...I just coughed up something beautiful! I am so disgusting.
Healing beautiful energy into my body! Loving every inch and feeding myself goodness. Peaceful days :)