Moving along....faster than I thought.
I never made it out to Montauk. I was so uncomfortable all weekend. My poor mouth is bothering me so much. I have horrible sores and my taste buds are like huge bumps. I can't taste a thing and if I do...it's like soap!
I'm on my fifth week and have nine treatments to go! I am almost done!
I was talking with my neighbors oldest son about manifesting good energy and thoughts. His mom said that with all the crap that I have been through, she can't believe how amazing positive I am. I have to admit, I know am. I rarely get upset or talk cancer sadness to people around me. I have a few friends that I break down with and talk openly about it. I don't hold it in. I am fighting this! I've been dealt a tough hand...but hey most of us have.
I believe that is why I had such a hard time when a friend didn't quite understand my crankiness. What...?? Cranky because I have a hard time living with cancer? Yeah, you wouldn't understand that one.
When I am having a tough day I let everyone around me know. I see how people take things personally. It's absolutely ridiculous. I let them know ahead of time how my day is panning out. It gives them a chance to either run and hide or stick by my side and help me through the moment.
What I have learned during radiation treatment...
Italian ices make me hyper
Cranky is okay
I'm stronger than I think
SPOHNC meeting this Thursday evening! I am looking forward to my support group. A month is way too long! They will be so proud my strength and progress.
My dream ~ my Aunt Mary Ann passed away this time four years ago of breast cancer. She is my god mother, my angel. Last night I dreamt of her beautiful face. She looked like I remember her. A long braid and cute Irish freckles on her face. I reached out to her crying and asked her over and over, why did you leave me? She never spoke. I felt her arms wrap around me. My Aunt was so petite and tiny that I would have to bend down to hug her. I did this in my dream. I was sobbing and I could feel the nook of her neck and shoulder. It felt so real and comforting. I truly believe that she is with me.
Peace & meditating hugs