I am living with the reality that my body may never be cancer free. I will slowly be tortured and maybe never cured. I may never feel complete and I have so many more things I want to do with my life. Which I will do, just not that fast. I sit wondering about the real meaning of my days ahead. I asked for love, I got it. Praying for peace & strength for all around me. I have been on my hands and knees begging god for a child. A painful time for a young couple to go through. How much can be taken away? I beg for a normal life, freed of cancer shackles that are weighing me down into the mud.
I am having a hard time floating back up into Zombie world...that's your land of blue skies.
I am looking for my awakening.
My Fall Cancer tumor update will begin in less that one month. A countdown to new dangerous lymph nodes that need to be ready to get their butts whooped.....by Me.
I am happy to be a young girl ready to say, " I have Cancer, I am Cranky. And you can't handle it!"
I have had this conversation playing over and over. A Cancer Card Cranky message that I received from a friend months ago. Something I haven't been able to forget. It made me realize the lack of care a person can have. Best thing to ever hear from the person...the truth and how they feel about you having Cancer. HOW can one be jealous of Cancer? What happened to comapassion?
I will leave it alone and move forward knowing that some things can not be mended. Ugly words run deep into my soul.
I don't want someone like you in my life....so I choose to be free.