Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Liver Love

It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up 
~Vince Lombardi

Anyone awake at 3 in the morning? Give me a call. I wake up at the same time every night and have such a hard time falling back asleep. I think we should start a nighttime call center. It could play soothing music or read a book until you fall asleep. 

I did eight weeks of the trial drug. I saw my oncologist the day I quit. My liver tumor that was shrinking, got a tad bigger during this time period. I was aware and worried about the tumor getting bigger. I didn't want my options for treatment or surgery to be a problem. Quiting the trial was the easiest decision to make. The drugs didn't make me feel that good. But, what is funny is that I had things going on that stopped and started up again a week or two after I quit.  The chemotherapy had pushed me into early menopause. I am 34 and having HOT flashes all day long. I didn't even realize that the trial drugs had paused the midnight pajama change. Now I am back to turning red and removing layers of clothing. Part of the reason I stopped wearing  wigs. 

Liver Love :)

I got the phone call today  from Dr. Radiation's nurse and wasn't prepared for my treatment to happen so quick. I was still making sure the insurance company gave me pre-approval.  I start another radiation treatment in two days and this time it will take three weeks to a month from start to finish.  It's similar to the one I did on my vertebrae tumors. Image guided radiation. It's called something else. I am upstairs and the paperwork is downstairs. I will gather the information and get it out to everyone. It's very interesting.   I am going to wing it and give you the quick version of what I know they are doing. Mind you that I listen, soak it in, read about it and then forget. 
This Thursday they are going to give me some happy gas and a pill to make me calm and forgetful. They will numb an area and guide a needle with three gold balls into my liver tumor. 
Then in 3-5 days scanners will MRI my liver and will see if the balls stayed in place or floated around. I will then be fitted for a body mask, another set of tattoos ans some more scans.  For the record these will be my third body tattooing. I already have black and green ones all over my chest and belly. They are like beauty marks that remind me of all the fun I go through!  A few days after that I will be starting 5  Radiation treatments. Since it will be at a high dose, It will be every other day.  
There are side effects and it's really how my body responds. The tumor is pushing against my stomach  and the Radiation blasts will be hitting it. I may be sick for a day, week or month. I know taking the medication and watching my diet will help me get through it like a champ. I also gained 20 something pounds and would like to wear pants that don't have an elastic waistband! 
Has anyone done Radiation on the liver or Organ? Advice?? 

I want everyone to know that I am doing good. Some people think my humor is a coping mechanism. I am actually pretty funny! I just can't help but laugh my way through this junky time. I had the depression and anxiety hit. It wasn't fun for me or anyone around me. I still feel horribly guilty at the way I spoke to my husband, family and friends.  Michelle just wasn't Michelle.  I was an  angry girl! I look back on the amount of drugs in my system. It's gross thinking that Dr's just want you to take a pill for every symptom. I am down to 3 pills a day! I was on 6-10 at one point in my cancer career. 

Chat more soon. Biggest hugs to everyone.
Thank you for your support & love.